Presents you should give me or your girlfriend or something.

Presents you should give me or your girlfriend or something.

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It’s that time of year again when I start thinking ahead to Christmas. And when I think ahead to Christmas I start spending all of my spare time shopping for presents online. But then, of course, I find a million things I really want for myself instead and I start making wish lists of all those things I found that I would buy for myself if only my bank account had a positive balance.

So here are some presents you should give me for Christmas or my birthday because maybe you secretly love me and have more cash than I do. Or you feel sorry for me. Whatever.

Or, you know, I suppose you can use this gift guide to pick out something for someone you actually know, like your girlfriend or your best friend or your sister, who is also obsessed with cats and the color pink and 80s teen literature.

I won’t be jealous or anything.

I swear…

Presents you should give me or your girlfriend or something.

Amethyst Crystal Lamp | Lucky Cat Throw Pillow | Mini Notebook Set – Rainbow Kitten and Unicorn | Message In A Bottle Necklace | Ceramic Llama Planter | 15-inch MacBook Pro | Urban Decay Naked Cherry Palette | Fading Cats Tote Bag | Mini Cat Bracelet | Vanilla & Patchouli Pillow Mist | Rifle Paper Co. United States of America Print | Crystal Moon Candle | Herschel Little America Backpack | Magnetic World Map | Succulent Garden Necklace | Solo: A Modern Cookbook for a Party of One | Fitbit Charge 3 | LUSH Little Box of Slumbers | Juliet Rose Planner | I am, I am, I am. Sylvia Plath Quote Literary Print | Cat Air Plant Holder | iPhone XS | CB2 Dip Milky Purple Double Old-Fashioned Glasses | Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of ’80s and ’90s Teen Fiction | Cosmos Kitten Mug | Galaxy Cat Planter | Dusty Rose Woven Rainbow | Night In Print | Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner | Unicorn Printed Cozy Socks


Presents you should give me or your girlfriend or best friend or something.

1. Amethyst Crystal Lamp

I kind of have a thing for lamps. I have about four in my apartment, which is probably about four more than I actually need. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to buy all the lamps. And this amethyst lamp is pretty pretty.


2. Lucky Cat Throw Pillow

Because you can never have too many cats on your bed. Or too many pillows.


3. Mini Notebook Set – Rainbow Kitten and Unicorn

I love putting pen to paper. I like jotting down notes, scrawling ideas for blog posts, drawing doodles, whatever. I can never have enough notebooks. I actually already have this illustrated cat as a print in my bedroom because it looks like gay pride Rooney, but I wouldn’t mind having it in notebook form as well.


4. Message In A Bottle Necklace

Cute little bottle + Necklace + Crystals + Pink = ❤️


5. Ceramic Llama Planter

Llamas are probably my fifth favorite animal (after jackalopes, any animal dressed as another animal, cats, and monkeys). So I totally dig this llama shaped planter even though I will kill whatever plant I put in it.


6. 15-inch MacBook Pro

I’m afraid that my Macbook is dying a slow death. It freezes every time I use it and definitely doesn’t hold a charge like it used to. I know I’ll be needing a new laptop soon. Of course they now cost approximately three bazillion dollars. So if you really love me and happen to have a few bazillion dollars to spare, help a girl out.


7. Urban Decay Naked Cherry Palette

Because pink is my color.


8. Fading Cats Tote Bag

The bag ban in Chicago (along with, you know, a general care for not using plastic bags) means I almost always am carrying a tote bag. And I really need one that didn’t come as a free giveaway at a blogger event.


9. Mini Cat Bracelet

Did I mention I’m a mom to two cats? And that I’m kind of obsessed with them?


10.Vanilla & Patchouli Pillow Mist

Because when you have eight pillows on your bed you take this sleep thing seriously.


11. Rifle Paper Co. United States of America Print

I collect two kinds of art prints. One type that I will call “cute illustrated hipster girls” and, the other, “map prints.” I pretty much love everything Rifle Paper Co. ever produces and this map of the United States is no exception.


12. Crystal Moon Candle

I like candles. I like pink. I like pink candles.


13. Herschel Little America Backpack

The only backpack I own is a giant one that I use as a daypack with traveling (and, sometimes, as my main bag on short trips). So, if I want to tote my laptop to a coffee shop, I look like I’m getting ready for a hike. I could really use something smaller and more tailored.


14. Magnetic World Map

A girl can never have too many maps.


15. Succulent Garden Necklace

I don’t wear a whole lot of jewelry. So, when I do, I like a little bit of a statement and tend to go for things that are a little quirky. And what’s more quirky than wearing a clay succulent?


16. Solo: A Modern Cookbook for a Party of One

I’m single and I live alone and I cook for myself but most recipes are meant to feed families of six. So I’m intrigued by a cookbook meant for those of us cooking for one.


17. Fitbit Charge 3

For a while I was completely obsessed with my Fitbit. Completely obsessed. That obsession has, unfortunately, faded, but maybe I’d go back to wearing one if I had a pretty one in purple and rose gold?


18. LUSH Little Box of Slumbers

I’m a morning showerer. My hair is super thin and if I take a shower at night it will be a limp ball of grease by morning. Still, there’s something calming about taking a night shower, just before hitting bed.


19. Juliet Rose Planner

Because every girl should have a plan(ner).


20. I am, I am, I am. Sylvia Plath Quote Literary Print

Though my blog title, fig tattoo, and, well, life, are based on a different quote from The Bell Jar, the last line in the novel, “I am, I am, I am,” is probably the most well-known.


21. Cat Air Plant Holder

Air plants are supposedly super easy to take care of but I could at least keep my quarters in this little kitty when I inevitably kill the plant anyways.


22. iPhone XS

I still have an iPhone 6S because iPhones are expensive and I have a cheap month-to-month phone plan that doesn’t include phone upgrades and my phone still works and all but every time I see someone take photos in portrait mode I want to stop everything and run to Apple. So, again, if you’re a bazillionaire who secretly loves me, send one my way.


23. CB2 Dip Milky Purple Double Old-Fashioned Glasses

I realized the other day that I’ve been using the same drinking glasses for over fifteen years. Let that sink in. I mean, my glasses are fine and I don’t need new ones but I still think about replacing them every time I get a glass of water.


24. Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of ’80s and ’90s Teen Fiction

Because I’m a 30-something who is reading The Baby-Sitters Club in its entirety, this seems like an appropriate read.


25. Cosmos Kitten Mug

I often swear that I’m not the kind of cat lady who wants a million cat things all over her apartment. But mugs are an exception. Because you can never have too many mugs and you especially can’t have too many cat mugs.


26. Galaxy Cat Planter

OK, forget what I said about not wanting a million cat things because apparently all I want is cat things and especially cat things for plants I would kill. I don’t get me either.


27. Dusty Rose Woven Rainbow

Even though I’m pretty sure that no matter where I hung this my cats would find a way to destroy it, I still love these big fluffy woven wall hangings.


28. Night In Print

This is basically me and my boys except I am usually wearing a sweatshirt because I get cold fast.


29. Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Eyeliner

I wear glittered eyeliner every time I wear makeup because why would you wear regular eyeliner when glittered eyeliner exists?


30. Unicorn Printed Cozy Socks

My feet like to be extra warm and fuzzy socks do the trick. (These also come with a cat print but I wanted to spare you from having everything on this list have cats on it and besides I might be wearing these cat socks already as I write this…)

So... what are you buying for me for Christmas?

Hi, I'm Val. I spent most of my 20s in a standstill, unable to pick which path in life I wanted to take. I wanted the nomadic life of a traveler but also wanted the husband, the condo, and the kitten. Unable to decide which life I wanted more, I did nothing. When I turned 30 I’d had enough of putting my life on hold and decided to start “choosing my figs.” So, I quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Europe, and traveled for three years. Now I'm back in Chicago, decorating my apartment in all the teal, petting my cats, and planning my next adventure.

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