Choosing Figs | Neurotic as Hell | A Travel, Lifestyle, and Life List Blog

Penis is Like Peanuts Without the T

My week in review:

Saturday night:
Coffee with Brandana.

Sunday:
Lady in the Water with Brandana. It was a pretty good comedy and mediocre thriller. M Night gave himself a huge part, he was a main character. It wasn’t very scary or anything but I found it to be rather funny. I then proceeded to stay up until 5:15am for no particular reason. I watched Interview with a Vampire and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and worked and worked and worked on putting Europics online though.

Monday:
Coffee with Brandana.


Tuesday:
Watched Cube Zero, which I’ve wanted to see for a while. When I turned the TV on Nightline was doing a story about the Ritz Carlton hotels. They have this thing where the employees all have to respond “My Pleasure” to everything. My old boss was obsessed with this and wanted us to respond that way to everything too. Of course, we all hated it and didn’t do it. Well, apparently the hotel has decided to stop doing that because it sounds so old fashioned. Haha, that so made me laugh like crazy.

Wednesday:
Coffee with the girls. It was the first time I’d had Starbucks in well over a month. They actually sat through my three albums of pictures from my backpacking trip through Europe.

Thursday:
I wanted to buy brown pants to wear with the top I bought for the rehearsal dinner. I found the perfect pants but they were a bit more expensive than I wanted to spend. So I rationalized that I could buy them if I wear them for interviewing. I then rationalized that I then need to buy the matching suit jacket. Then I rationalized that I now can’t wear the pants to the rehearsal dinner because I should save them for interviewing. So, now I have to go out and buy brown pants.

Other than that, a whole lot of nothing.

Friday:
Went to Jenny’s for pizza and bow tying. Jen, Sherry, Nadia, and I ordered up some pizza, watched The Wedding Planner and tied tulle around 150 bubbles and ribbon to 150 bells (the bells actually came with ribbons tied to them, so we had to take the ribbons off and tie the ribbon Jenny bought to them). Mind you I am not complaining about any of that because as a future Bridezilla (which Jenny is not) I totally understand wanting your personalized lavender ribbon over generic white. Um, Adam didn’t touch any tulle or anything at all (wink wink).

Nadia says that for her bachelorette party we are going to go get tattoos. I have to think of what I want…

After the movie was over and the favors were prepared we popped in the dvd that I bought Jenny for her bachelorette party: Where Did I Come From? It’s a totally hilarious sex ed film and I think I have to buy a copy for myself. Basically it explains where we come from. And it shows everything. It shows all your body parts and tells you all the slang terms for “Penis” and explains that “It’s like peanuts without the ‘t.'” There is a duck that stares a little too long at the breasts. Then they show the two people going at it and cut away to two cats rubbing up against eachother. It explains that we can’t have sex all the time because it is too tiring. Did I mention that this is all a cartoon? Did I mention that it’s all narrated by Howie Mandel? It’s brilliant.

Um, the end. (or is it?)

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Hi, I'm Val. I spent most of my 20s in a standstill, unable to pick which path in life I wanted to take. I wanted the nomadic life of a traveler but also wanted the husband, the condo, and the kitten. Unable to decide which life I wanted more, I did nothing. When I turned 30 I’d had enough of putting my life on hold and decided to start “choosing my figs.” So, I quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Europe, and traveled for three years. Now I'm back in Chicago, decorating my apartment in all the teal, petting my cats, and planning my next adventure.

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