No ice cream.

So, I’d been asking MK for the last two weeks if we could get ice cream together and talk. First, I needed a financial meeting because I was really upset when my funds dipped over $1,100. Second, I justified that this meeting should include him buying me a sundae to make up for him losing my money. And third, I’ve just been feeling generally shitty about a lot of things lately and just really wanted someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. So for two weeks I’ve been asking for ice cream and he always said he was busy. Last night he finally sent me a text saying I could come by if I wanted to go get some.

So I drove to his place and was greeted at the door by his friend Scott. And then Ken gave me a hug because he said I looked as if I needed one. Matt left to the other room to go play the piano and when I said “let’s go get ice cream” he said “We have to wait for Ken to be ready.” So I went in the other room and sat around and finally Scott came by and said “We’re ready to go get ice cream, come on.”

So I get up and go to my car and drive away. I was just fucking pissed. I’d been miserable lately and had been trying for two weeks to talk to a friend and then when I finally get him to make time for me he invites others along and basically ignores me. I had tried to make plans with him because I needed someone to talk to and because I needed a financial meeting. Adding others to the mix was not what I needed.

So I got in my car and drove away and ended up in a parking lot a few blocks away sitting and crying for half an hour because I couldn’t drive home like that and because I was kind of hoping MK would call me back to talk after his initial “So…you don’t want ice cream?” text when he realized I was gone. I didn’t hear back from him though (despite texting him back and trying to call him twice).

So I know I shouldn’t run away every time I get upset but sometimes I know that it will just make me feel worse to stay. I called Jeff from the parking lot because I needed someone to talk to and he at least assured me that it’s better than being somewhere you don’t want to be.

And yeah, I know I’m emotional and a bitch and completely overreact to things. But I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have a friend who actually wants to hang out without always inviting others or is actually willing to listen to you or help you when you’re feeling depressed.

I still want ice cream.