Saying goodbye in Koh Tao, Thailand.
I’m not going to lie. I spent the entire next morning crying.
It was one of my hardest goodbyes yet.
I had to turn around as I watched everyone ride off because I knew the tears were coming. And then I sat around all morning trying to find Dave, an Irishman who was the only other staying behind, so I’d have someone to console in.
I was sad for losing Josh, who I’d liked more than I thought I would or ever wanted to. Who I felt comfortable and myself with, something that doesn’t happen often for me. Who I knew was way too young for me and while I like to think age doesn’t matter for some reasons it does.
But I was also sad for losing everyone else. For all the Aussies who were some of the most genuinely nicest boys I’ve ever met. For the Chicago-loving Brits Laura and Hugh. For Aaron, who had no qualms frankly asking the most inappropriate questions.
I’ve been here before. I felt the same way leaving behind my boys in Laos.
And it’s far from my first relationship on this trip. And I’ve gotten my heart broken before. And broken a heart or so of my own.
It gets both harder and easier with everyone I meet. Harder to think that there are all of these great men out there, so many people I’ve connected with and wish could be in a more permanent place in my life. But easier to know that there’s always someone else. There is always someone else.
I spent three more nights in Koh Tao.
Getting beers and cocktails on the beach. Watching poi. Listening to music. Getting a massage. Eating chocolate. Buying myself jewelry. Swimming in the sea. Watching the sun set.
If you ever need to mend a broken heart, I highly recommend doing it on a beach.
And no, no I did not go diving in Koh Tao.
nealyMarch 2, 2012at12:56 am
Funny. I was just talking to my best friend tonight about how there’s this sad emptiness you feel when you have to say goodbye to those you’ve shared an adventure with. The bond always seems to be there, but it becomes the thing that merely ties memories together. Nevertheless, life is so much richer for each experience and those you meet and hold dear along the way, even if for only a short while. Thanks for letting us continuously live such wonder through you!
ValMarch 11, 2012at5:53 am
Aw, thank you 🙂 It is always hard having to say goodbye but yes, every encounter enriches our lives in so many ways!