It’s not delivery it’s DiGiorno

1. July 5th I woke up in New York. We packed our bags and checked out of the hotel and stopped at a McDonald’s for a bite. I wasn’t totally hungry so I just got some fries and since I am not drinking soda I tried one of their new smoothies which wasn’t too bad. We left for the airport and I got there way too early so I read four days worth of twitter from my phone to catch up. I considered getting on an earlier flight but didn’t want to spend $50 so I waited it out. Plus it gave me a little more time to feel a little bit better. Did I mention I threw up in the hotel room that night? And that morning? And was pretty hungover? ‘Cause I was. I got back to the city and then met Mat at Red Orchid to go watch some comedy of some friends of his. The comedy was OK but I really loved the opening where two of them did an improv show that was basically everything you are not supposed to do in improv. Like they’d sit at a bus stop and then the one guy would call for a waiter. Or one would go onstage and say “I wonder where my boss is” and the other just wouldn’t come out. It was pretty funny. Then Mat and I went to Waterhouse because they were open and we were hungry so I had a burger. Then we went to my place and watched TV. And I was tired and hungover and jet lagged and drugged up.

2. I had won some free tickets to see Eric’s improv group Roboctopus last Friday. So me and Chelsa and Stephanie went. It was hilarious…especially since I got to see Eric make out with another guy…he swears that’s never happened before…

3. Thursday night I went to see Mat’s improv group 98.6 do a show at a bar. I felt bad because outside of me and Mat’s mom there weren’t very many people there at all. And the show was OK, but it definitely wasn’t the best I’ve seen. Hopefully it was just an off night. Afterwards I wanted to watch Alice in Wonderland, because he had had it on Netflix for two and a half weeks and we couldn’t coordinate when to watch it yet…but he had his motorcycle so I knew the only way I’d get to watch it was if I got on… luckily for us both he had parked in front of a restaurant with outdoor seating, and since I didn’t want to embarrass myself or interrupt anyone’s meal I couldn’t scream or cry. So I got on and he went and I made it over seven miles with only minor shrieks when he turned or swerved…I realized later that I had reasoned with myself that it would be OK since he wouldn’t want me to get hurt…which is kind of stupid considering how many times he’s hurt me. But anyways. I made it 7 miles on the back of a motorcycle.

Then we made a garlic bread four cheese pizza and watched Alice in Wonderland. Well…he watched it and I fell asleep. 🙁 But he said it wasn’t any good and from what I saw I agree: I just hate movies that look like they were filmed on a green screen.

4. Friday we went to Target where I watched him try on clothes. And how come when I say “oh this cup is cute!” he just ignores it but I just have to go look at this cool play station controller? Boys.

5. In case you missed it up there: I RODE 7 MILES ON THE BACK OF A MOTORCYCLE!

6. Mat: You left half your cereal.
val: No I ate all my cereal, I left half my milk.

7. You know you’ve gone insane when you call into your bedroom to tell your stuffed jackalope that they are talking about his home town on TV.

8. OMG Snuggie makes a beach towel with sleeves! I want!

9. Just your average site on your way to work…

10. David Tutera is everything I hate about weddings. But I still like his show.

11. I never end up paying attention during Top Chef. i have to watch it 3 times during the week and still never know what happened.

12. “The camera adds ten pounds and ten thousand dollars.” – Rainn Wilson

13.Val: Our electricity just went out.
Mat: I’m terribly sorry. What reality wedding show are you missing?

14. Dear DVR. The Next Food Network Star is not, in fact, a 21 hour program, you do not have to record it for that long.

15. when I told my financial panther I didn’t want to disclose what I spend money on he replied “instead of specific things like “shoes” or “x-rated movies” we could use categories like “housing” and “entertainment””

16. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. There’s an Extenze for Women now?

17. More meals from the week…

Pasta with cheap Trader Joe’s pasta sauce. Drowning.

Cheese quesadilla.

Bruschetta.