I’m going to die here.
Six days in Vang Vieng, Laos.
And here we go again.
After a bumpy bus ride from Vientiane, one that was an hour late in arriving and only made pit stops by the side of the road, forcing me to pee in a bush, we arrived in Vang Vieng: a backpackers mecca revolving around rafting, drinking, and drugs. After walking around a bit we settled on a cheap guest house knowing that we would probably switch to the backpackers hostel the next day.
We spent much of the night at a bar, eating, drinking Beerlao, and playing Connect Four and drinking games and card games that were also drinking games.
When our bar was closing we headed off down the street to another one to have some…refreshments…before heading off to Q Bar and later Smile Bar to start off a binge of buckets that would last for days.
I don’t remember what time I got back. Late. When I got home I couldn’t find Andy so I took my computer down to the porch. He finally came stumbled back and we talked for a bit after he traded a banana for a cigarette with the security guard. And then we retired to our room where we watched a rousing game of televised foosball.
Foosball was still going strong in the morning.
We switched hostels and got breakfast, then Andy and I took a long walk to the start of the river. On the way we stopped for a bit to watch a cockfight that was going on on the side of the road.
And then we hit the river. Or, more accurately, the bars. We opted out of getting tubes and just decided to drink. So we got some whiskey buckets and chilled and searched for Ed…
Towards the end of the night. Or, I suppose more accurately, the afternoon, Sophia and I drunkenly stole tubes with a German dude. Yes, yes I was one of those people.
But don’t worry, karma got the best of me when the dude put my purse in his dry sack and neglected to close it properly, soaking everything and ruining my iPod, 2 memory cards, a camera battery…
I lamented my loss and my stupidity, but dried out my money and went off to Q Bar for some more drinking with my boys. And then Smile Bar to lay in hammocks, drink more whiskey…
We headed to the river again. Again tubeless, just out to drink and dance and play beersbee and relax.
Andy asked me how many of the boys in our group I’d kissed. And it was then I realized that there were only two I hadn’t. So we decided that I should round that out…
But then the two Danish dudes showed up. Which added one more that I hadn’t kissed (yes, one…). But he didn’t seem to be having any of it…
And then I decided I should just start over.
And then, apparently, added Issac for good measure. Though he said I was a bad kisser and bit. But I was drunk. And honestly don’t remember any of this.
Really, I remember nothing that happened after maybe 4pm. I do know I was helped home by a lovely Australian couple. And that I passed out at about 6pm not to wake until the next day…
I’m not going to drink.
After getting so fucked the day before I decided I was going to go to the river but not drink. Andy decided that if I was going to not drink I had to at least kiss. So he immediately made me add to the kiss count of one of the bar guys.
I think I managed to make it an hour. Maybe two.
It was also Lloyd’s birthday! So we got him drunk.
And all of us got drunk.
And then I may have slept with a guy 10 years younger than me. And then we all went out to the bar to get a bucket I came no where close to finishing. And then it may have happened again…
Drinking. But not Kissing.
River, again. Tubeless, again. I told Andy that I was going to drink but not kiss. He said that was no fun.
I played my first ever game a of beer pong. Which is probably a shock after eight years of college.
And then I broke my promise and kissed. And then it may have happened again… And then I fell asleep and didn’t go out. And then he may have crawled into my bed at 4 in the morning despite not even staying at my hostel…
There are only so many moves.
I was tired. Exhausted. And had spent too much of my week drunk. We didn’t go to the river that day, instead we stayed around the hostel doing nothing but watching episodes of Friends that play on constant repeat.
While out in the morning I happened to find a random Rubiks cube for sale at a random shop. Earlier Gus had mentioned that he could do them so I bout it, and he tried showing me how. It’s now on my life list.
Even though we didn’t do day drinking, we managed to go get some night drinking on. And we played a rousing game of bucket pong…basically just throwing our ice into each other’s buckets…
And then I said goodbye, after 6 days of drinking, after never actually tubing. Because I just needed to get out of there. And because I probably would have died there. I just needed a break…
Elizabeth BirdJanuary 20, 2012at1:50 pm
Wow! I would have been exhausted after one or two days of that. Looks like fun though. Why didn’t you go tubing? Did it just not appeal to you?
ValJanuary 26, 2012at9:55 am
Just never got around to it! You really don’t need one!
JaimeJanuary 20, 2012at6:08 pm
OMG… WOW!!! You are fucking insane… I love it!!! This town is going to kill you please be careful… I wanna see you again soon. I love all the shots of you kissing the guys… hot mess!!!
ValJanuary 26, 2012at9:57 am
I am a hot mess!
EdwardJanuary 23, 2012at11:57 am
Hello! this is fucking hilarious, i cant believe you did so many days on the river, and walked there the first day! you idiots! can you put some of these pictures on facebook one day, they are funny, hope your well! xx
ValJanuary 26, 2012at9:57 am
I love you and miss you Ed! I know, I can’t believe it either…I even went back for more! I’ll get some up on the Facebook eventually…
Ian [EagerExistence]February 28, 2012at12:08 am
Sounds like my Oktoberfest, but with less kissing and sex (on my account).