Crumbs White Chocolate Cupcake

I want to be a competitive eater.

Training for a cupcake eating contest.

As you all know I am one of the world’s biggest fans of competitive eating. Since 2007 I’ve been to 20 professional contests, always a spectator, always with camera in hand. I’m kind of a superfan. But I have never once stepped behind the table to compete.

Val Bromann competitive eater.
My self portrait as a competitive eater.

Number 54 on my incomplete list of 1,000 things I want to do in life is “Compete in a professional eating contest.

Well, I am very happy to announce that I will be competing in my very first professional (and first ever) eating contest in April! I’m hitting the road to Waterloo Iowa and the Isle Casino to competitively eat…CUPCAKES!!!

Really, out of any food someone could eat don’t cupcakes sound the tastiest?

It looks like I’m going to be competing against some of the best of the best competitive eaters: #2 Ranked Pat “Deep Dish” Bertoletti, #3 ranked Notorious B.O.B. Shoudt, #9 ranked Tim “Gravy” Brown, #12 ranked Sean “Flash” Gordon, and #14 ranked Adrian Morgan to name a few…

So if I want a taste of the $5,000 in prizes I have to step up my game!

So far my training has consisted of getting cupcakes whenever someone says they are going out to get one. Which is kind of often since the new Crumbs Bake Shop opened just down the block from my work. So I’ve eaten things like…

This brownie cupcake. That took me about 15 minutes to eat. But to be fair, I was pacing myself and enjoying its goodness. And there was a bathroom break in there…

Brownie cupcake from Crumbs Bake Shop

And this White Hot Chocolate cupcake…that took me about 2 days to finish…

White Hot Chocolate cupcake from Crumbs Bake Shop

And this amazingly delicious s’mores cupcake…

S'mores cupcake from Crumbs Bake Shop

And then there was this turkey cupcake from Meatloaf Bakery

Meatloaf Bakery Turkey Meatloaf cupcake.


So as you can see, training is intense and grueling!

I’m not yet sure what kind of cupcakes I’ll be eating in competition, but it looks like it may be a white or yellow cake with white frosting.

I still have about two months to go before the contest on April 23, and I’ve got a lot to do to prepare! So stay tuned for some updates as I prepare to take on the best of the best in this gurgitory match.

In the meantime…What should my competitive eating nickname be? Any training tips? Want to come watch and be my superfan?!?!?!


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Hi, I'm Val. I spent most of my 20s in a standstill, unable to pick which path in life I wanted to take. I wanted the nomadic life of a traveler but also wanted the husband, the condo, and the kitten. Unable to decide which life I wanted more, I did nothing. When I turned 30 I’d had enough of putting my life on hold and decided to start “choosing my figs.” So, I quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Europe, and traveled for three years. Now I'm back in Chicago, decorating my apartment in all the teal, petting my cats, and planning my next adventure.

  • Commissioner Rob from LACE
    February 25, 2011at8:45 am

    If you don’t wind up making money from the competition, you’re always welcome at LACE!

    • Heather
      February 25, 2011at5:12 pm

      Valry “dragonfly” Bromann
      Valry “bromann with two n’s” Bromann
      Valry “the swallower” bromann.

      I like the third one, but only because I’m used to coming up with naughty derby names.

  • Elissa Plastino
    February 25, 2011at9:57 am

    Glad we can help you knock off something from your life list…especially something as awesome as competing in an eating contest! You’ll do great and have so much fun!

  • Peter
    February 25, 2011at10:15 am

    Awesome!! A cupcake eating contest, totally would do that. I’ve never been part of, or been in an eating contest, but I think it would be a pretty fun experience. Best of luck with the training and the competition!!!

  • wendyvee
    February 25, 2011at10:18 am

    Damn. Now I’m torn between rooting for Bertoletti or you 🙂

    Also, if I could reach into my monitor and steal that White Hot Chocolate cupcake I would be in heaven.

    I’m glad that I’m not the only one with an office telephone cord that looks like that lol

  • damien boykin
    February 25, 2011at2:22 pm

    Glad to see there are still some people out there doing the CE thing for fun and adventure. The gang will love you. Brownie cupcake looks like a good one to train with. Did they say if it is a non dunking event?

  • Sid
    February 28, 2011at8:29 am

    your phone has an impressive cord tangle

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