I Think the Pacaderms Cheated
Human versus elephant eating contest on Coney Island
I woke up, in New York City, way too early on Friday and didn’t want to get out of my amazingly comfortable hotel bed. But I had an eating contest to attend! So it was off to my first of two mornings at Coney Island! he next day would be the world famous Nathan’s Fourth of July hot dog eating contest. But this contest was a little different than any other eating contest I’ve ever seen: it pitted three of the best competitive eaters on the circuit against three of the finest elephants the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus had to offer!
Since elephants do not eat meat they were not eating hot dogs…they were eating hot dog buns!
Now, the event seemed to be set more as a press event that one for spectators. Which I totally understand. There was a huge lineup of video and still cameras in front and then a fenced off area to the side where everyone else got to stand. You could still see it though. So I got the best view I could from there…but then I saw my friend, competitive eater Tim Brown, pointing me out to someone and then they came over and told me to go stand with the press photographers! Awesome. I was told I could move around to anywhere when I needed to but was too paranoid about getting in someone’s way. So I mostly stuck to one position and went with it! But I got to stand with these people:
The elephants were introduced first and then the eaters: Eric Badlands Booker, Tim Gravy Brown, and Juliet Lee.
They all took their positions…and then the elephants started eating! Emcee George Shea didn’t even call it to start yet! The elephants totally cheated and got a head start! Just sayin’.
The elephants’ pace seemed to be slower. They didn’t have the urgency of the other eaters. And once in a while they got a bit confused and started grabbing at bananas instead!
But both groups trouped on, stuffing their mouths with hot dog buns for six minutes! When time was called it was tough to say who won: the eaters or the elephants. The eaters went at a fast pace but could only fit a bun or two at a times in their mouths. The elephants took the slow and steady pace but grabbed trunks full of buns at a time.
And then the results were announced…the three eaters ate 147 buns…but the elephants came out ahead with a whopping 505 hot dog buns!
So in the great rivalry between the elephant versus the human, the elephants triumphed! But I am sure one day they shall meet again…
More photos from the human versus elephant eating contest on Coney Island: