Choosing Figs | Neurotic as Hell | A Travel, Lifestyle, and Life List Blog

I have the worst financial advisor ever!

Last night I went to Caribou to meet with my financial advisor. He wanted to go over my investments and I wanted help setting up my 401(k). I determined last night that I have the worst financial advisor ever. Yeah, so this is what transpired…

  1. He was twenty minutes late.
  2. He tried to pass off 2% as skim.
  3. He ate food that fell on the floor.
  4. He forgot to bring my file, so we couldn’t even discuss finances.
  5. He screwed up my 401(k) form because doesn’t read directions.
  6. He played with a toy car all night.
  7. He criticized my clothing choices and said that none of my colors matched.
  8. Finally, he invited me back to his bedroom because he wanted to “show me something.”

I think I need a new advisor…

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Hi, I'm Val. I spent most of my 20s in a standstill, unable to pick which path in life I wanted to take. I wanted the nomadic life of a traveler but also wanted the husband, the condo, and the kitten. Unable to decide which life I wanted more, I did nothing. When I turned 30 I’d had enough of putting my life on hold and decided to start “choosing my figs.” So, I quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Europe, and traveled for three years. Now I'm back in Chicago, decorating my apartment in all the teal, petting my cats, and planning my next adventure.

  • Chris
    December 13, 2007at9:41 am

    Weren’t you complaining LAST time that your financial advisor never made time for play? And yet when he wants to play you want to discuss business? 😛

  • Sid
    December 13, 2007at3:47 pm

    if you buy me a toy car, i can’t rub it in his face…it’s real car or nothing!

  • Walter
    December 13, 2007at6:26 pm

    I still think he is cool as hell. Maybe he really isn’t a financial advisor but really an artist that’s doing improv work in the field. Did you notice any cameras? Did he ask you to speak loudly into his coat pocket?

  • val
    December 13, 2007at9:13 pm

    1. Yes I know. Nothing makes me happy.
    2. Don’t worry Sid, I will get you a much better, real car and you can rub it in his face.
    3. I’m not a financial advisor, but I play one on TV.

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