My dog is a pimp. | Got My Beer and My Bitch. My dog with a dog beer and his stuffed poodle.

Got my beer and my bitch.

1. My dog is a pimp

My dog is a pimp. | Got My Beer and My Bitch. My dog with a dog beer and his stuffed poodle.

He’s got his beer and his bitch.

My dog gives me a kiss.

And kisses all the ladies. Especially me.


2. HOLY SHIT! JOEY CHESTNUT BEAT KOBAYAHSI’S RECORD!!!! I can’t wait for the Fourth of July battle to see what happens!!!


3. After the power outage…
Mom: The computer is broken.
Me: No, it is turned off.


4. My dad is back from the hospital…which is kind of odd since it’s been three days since his surgery…and they originally said it would be five days in the hospital and then five days in a recovery center. Eh.


5. ValCap

So You Think You Can Dance
ummm…i dunno…I don’t really remember it

On The Lot
This is so horribly bad. Last week it was interesting but now they switched to an American-Idol rip off show. You know how on the American Idol results show it’s an hour of worthless filler? Of course you didn’t because you don’t watch American Idol, but it is. On On The Lot, they did one worse, and hour long results show with NO FILLER. Nothing. They kicked three people off in an hour and that was it. It was the most worthless crap of TV ever. And the host is a moron who mispronounces every other word including “Carrie Fisher.” And the movies sucked. Ohman, this is going to be a long summer. The network got smart and cut the damn show to once a week.

The Next Best Thing
haha, so, you know reality TV is going down the drain when even Val looks at the TV Guide and says “God, I have no desire to watch a bunch of celebrity impersonators.”

Pirate Master
This show was something awful. Mostly because these people will never be considered pirates. First of all, the host totally needed to be like Captain Hook, not some washed up (not a pun) old actor. Second, when they had to dive into the water, some of them were wearing goggles. Pirates don’t wear goggles. Third, there’s a district attorney who is keeping that a secret because for some reason she thinks it is an advantage. Fourth, this one dude kept saying that they couldn’t vote him off because he was the only one who had a compass. Then they kicked him off. And they let him leave with his damned compass! A real pirate would have stolen it. Fifth, they didn’t make the loser walk the plank.

National Spelling Bee
Seriously, the National Spelling Bee is the best couple of hours on television each year. Some highlights and lowlights:

– Samir got cut early! Resulting conversation with Joe:
Val: !!! Samir didn’t even make the finals!!!!
JoeJoe: boo hoo
Val: its like if Mark Buehrle was cut from the team
Val: and i say that because i went to the white sox website and that name was the first one i saw
JoeJoe: ha – for a moment i was impressed
Val: 🙂

– The Canadians spell words with a “zed”

man: your word is “Punaise” it’s another word for a bedbug kid: “I like bedbug better”

– One of the kids so had a moustache

– For a second year in a row, it came down to an American and a Canadian. Who let Canadians into the National Spelling Bee?

– Congratulation Evan O’Dorney – keeping it in America!

Learn on Skillshare

Affiliate Link

Hi, I'm Val. I spent most of my 20s in a standstill, unable to pick which path in life I wanted to take. I wanted the nomadic life of a traveler but also wanted the husband, the condo, and the kitten. Unable to decide which life I wanted more, I did nothing. When I turned 30 I’d had enough of putting my life on hold and decided to start “choosing my figs.” So, I quit my job, bought a one-way ticket to Europe, and traveled for three years. Now I'm back in Chicago, decorating my apartment in all the teal, petting my cats, and planning my next adventure.

  • Sid
    June 4, 2007at10:04 am

    do canadians spell like the british or like us? like colour and such?

  • val
    June 4, 2007at10:42 am

    hmm, i am not sure. In the bee I think they stick to weird complicated words no regular person has to ever spell anyways.

  • Chris
    June 4, 2007at1:26 pm

    I thought Pirate Master wasn’t that bad. The voting system alone made it interesting. I think it’s worth another shot. I do however, agree that all the other shows are forgettable, I didn’t even bother with On the Lot, despite the commercials being pretty cool.

  • Anonymous
    June 4, 2007at8:23 pm

    Omg you have the cutest dog ever! What kind is he?

  • val
    June 4, 2007at10:44 pm

    he is a Westie Poo (West Highland Terrier/Poodle mix) – and he’s really not cute, he’s actually rather evil.

Post a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.