Normally around this time of year I publish my annual gift guide full of all the amazing, fun, and quirky random things I want you to buy for me and my cats. Of course, none of you ever actually buy me anything from that list....

There are two types of first-time mothers. There are those mothers who decorate the baby's nursery for the baby. Teddy-bear printed bedding. Chunky plastic toys in bright primary colors. Dancing elephant mobiles in gender-friendly pink or blue. Then there are those mothers who decorate the nursery...