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It's easy to get lost here, but it's just as easy to get found. That was the first thing I wrote in my journal, sitting alone in a restaurant, on my first night in Amsterdam. So, did it turn out to be more than just my observations of the city plan, did it turn out to be a metaphor for my trip, did it turn out to be a metaphor for my life? More than anything in the world I needed this trip. I needed Amsterdam. Quite honestly I was a completely different person here and I hope upon hope that I can take...

I'm sitting in the airport and feel completely fucked. I guess that's a good thing. Last night I went to the party again. Why the fuck not? There were more people, which meant less vodka so I compensated with jager shots and glasses of wine. Some guys from Cincinnati made fun of me for drinking wine. Jodie and I pole danced a lot. She rocks my socks. Katy from their hostel came out and so did British James who disappeared at one point. He didn't like where he was from. I'm beginning to think that no one likes where they come from. Ummm...

You know what rocks? When you're in a bar in AMSTERDAM and a BON JOVI song comes on. You can rock to that anywhere in the world. Also, they only play 10-year-old American music here. It's true. Oh, except for this song by Amy Winehouse the first far keeps playing called "Valerie." *** I really didn't have any plans for the night so I set off for a walk to go photograph some canals. Of course, that involved walking past the memorial statue on the dam...

Despite the fact that I'd just gotten home a few hours before I decided I still wanted to make it to Keukenhof, a flower garden a few towns over in Lisse. Keukenhof is the world's largest flower gardens and is apparently the most photographed place in the world. And it's only open for three months out of the year. Basically it's a huge garden filled with flowers. I suppose it would be a pretty horrible garden if it wasn't filled with flowers. But I'm pretty damn tired so please forgive me. I'm not sure what else to say about it. It...

Today. Woke up. Made it down in time for the end of breakfast. Ate. Took off. I found FOAM, which is an amazing little photography museum I wanted to check out. The photography in the first exhibit was contemporary Amsterdam work. But the second floor had a killer exhibit by Jessica Dimmock titled "The 9th Floor." She basically followed these heroin addicts as they lived in a 9th floor apartment and after they were kicked out. One disappeared. One tried to get help form family. Two of them had a baby together. It was beautiful work. After the museum I walked through...

True Story: I have had more Heinekens than I've had Cokes this week (that says A LOT coming from me). Another True Story: If I wanted to start a different type of coke habit there are a couple of guys outside my hostel that would be more than willing to help. *** Today was a busy busy day. I started by going to the Noodermarkt. They like their markets here. There are tons of them. I saw a man selling birds. I bought an orange juice. That's another thing they have here: fresh juice. It's everywhere and I love it. Then I walked to...

"Find a man who thinks your silence is beautiful." The old Dutchman at the bar said that to me. I wasn't talking much and to be truthful it was because I could hardly understand what he was saying and to be more truthful it was because in general I just don't talk much. It's been something I've been thinking about these last few days. Whenever I talk I have to clear my throat and start again because each sentence has come after a long period of silence. Paul kept saying today that I don't say much. And it's true. It's hard to...