Share on Pinterest

A few weekends ago, I went to a baby shower. One of the baby shower games, because you can't go to a baby shower and not be forced to play baby shower games, involved cutting a piece of yarn to the size you thought the mother-to-be's belly was. Jokingly, I wrapped the yarn around my stomach and cut it to my exact size. I won. All of my weight goes to my stomach. OK, that's not true that all of my weight goes to my stomach, my weight also goes to my thighs and my arms and my face and my ass...

"How is the couch to 5K going?" a friend would ask me every week when we hung out, to which I'd reply, "I've got the couch part down." Ten weeks ago I signed up to run my first 5K and immediately downloaded one of those "couch to 5K" apps onto my pink iPhone. It was a nine week, three times a week, program that alternated reps of walking and jogging dictated by a very lovely sounding woman whispering directions in my headphones. "Let's jog," she'd say. "Brisk walk," she'd say. Or, at least she would say those directions if I had...