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I took the last week off of work. My office was already going to be closed for two and a half days for the Thanksgiving holiday so, really, I was just taking 2.5 more. I have about a bazillion unused vacation days so I'm on that year-end scramble to use it or lose it that's also buying me an extra week off in December. I had no plans for my week off other than to snuggle with my cats and to get shit done. Because, really, that's my plan for every moment of free time I have: snuggle with my cats...

It had been over a year since I got a hair cut and my frock was getting "trapped in my armpits every time I move" long. That last time I got it cut, over a year ago, I had run to a train station Supercuts on my work lunch break to get a $15 discount trim. I don't even remember when, before that, I had last gotten a "real" cut at a "real" salon. You know, one of those salons where they actually shampoo and blow dry your hair. I don't remember the last time I dyed my hair either, but...

I make projects for myself. I would say, "I always have so much to do." I would say, "I'm always too busy." But, in truth, I know that, on some level, there are very few things on my ever expanding to-do list that I actually have to do. I just make things up and decide that I need to do them and add them to my to-do list. One after another after another. And then I panic, constantly, that I have too much to do, that I am always so busy. Because my to-do list is long. Long. ...

I knew I was fat when people stopped saying, "you're not fat," when I said I was fat. Maybe you know how it is. You know you've gained weight. Maybe you're ten pounds over what you wish you were. And you look in the mirror and think, "I'm so fat," even though, to everyone else, you look just the same as always. And so, when you say, "I'm fat," they all reply, "What are you talking about? You're not fat." But then you gain ten more pounds. And ten more. And ten more. And more. And then, somewhere along the way,...

I can remember where I was this time last year. How empty everything still felt. I remember the nights I'd stayed up until 3am just because I knew going to sleep meant I had to wake up the next day and start all over again. I remember those other nights when I had so little to give that I'd come home from work, eat dinner, and go straight to sleep. I felt like I had no control over my life. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like there was no time. I felt like there was nothing for me. For the past year...

I tend, like most of us do, to sit down on January 1, full of hope for the new year, and write out a list of resolutions: things I want to do, things I want to accomplish, in the next 365 days. I tend, like most of us do, to completely forget about that list by February 1. I'm pretty sure that I hadn't looked at my 2016 New Year's resolutions since I wrote them down in January. I may have vaguely recalled what was on my list for the first month or two of the year. But if you asked me,...

I've been on this kick lately to do the things I always say I'm going to do. You know those things. Maybe you were watching an improv show once and thought to yourself, "this is so much fun, I wish I could be up there." Or maybe you passed by that swanky but impossible-to-get-into restaurant and thought, "I keep meaning to try to make reservations." Or, maybe, you were lusting over Pinterest boards on Brazil thinking, "someday I will take a vacation there." Those things. We're always making these mental lists. Lists of things we want to do in life. Lists of those things we...

A few weekends ago, I went to a baby shower. One of the baby shower games, because you can't go to a baby shower and not be forced to play baby shower games, involved cutting a piece of yarn to the size you thought the mother-to-be's belly was. Jokingly, I wrapped the yarn around my stomach and cut it to my exact size. I won. All of my weight goes to my stomach. OK, that's not true that all of my weight goes to my stomach, my weight also goes to my thighs and my arms and my face and my ass...

Hello 2016. Hello. And Happy New Year to you all. I wish I could say I was one of those people who doesn't see New Years as a turning point, as a chance to start everything new, but I'm not. I wish I could say I was one of those people who shuns New Year's resolutions, who thinks they're pointless, but I'm not. ...