When I was younger my dad used to tell me that Santa doesn't like milk, that he really likes Pepsi. This year he told me that Santa's on a diet and likes diet root beer. Today we went to my mom's family's house for a Jewish/Polish...

1. My dog is a pimp He's got his beer and his bitch. And kisses all the ladies. Especially me.   2. HOLY SHIT! JOEY CHESTNUT BEAT KOBAYAHSI'S RECORD!!!! I can't wait for the Fourth of July battle to see what happens!!!   3. After the power outage...

one. Sometimes you get in the car with only the intent of moving it from one side of the street to the other. Then sometimes, an hour later, a grande mocha later, a spontaneous drive past a ghost of a house later, a theme song later,...