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Neurotic As Hell

Choosing Figs Blog

Joey Chestnut and Matt Stonie took their prime spots at the center of the table and, from the moment the clock started ticking down, they were both fully focused on the win. For the first few HDBs they were neck and neck but, by two minutes in, Joey Chestnut had eaten to a steady lead. As the minutes ticked down and more hot dogs were eaten it was no longer a question of who would win, it was a question of whether the record would or would not be broken....

I spent Fourth of July weekend in New York. Obviously. It was my eighth visit since my first time in 1999 and my seventh Fourth of July spent in the city since 2007. Whew. I was there, mainly, for the annual hot dog eating contest but, with an extended weekend, I also got a little chance to wander the city. I suppose the more times I end up in New York the less time I spend in Manhattan and the less time I feel the need to do actual things there. This time, I hung out in Park Slope with Amber, who...

Went to a bonfire at Promontory Point in Hyde Park. Went to Maifest and Do Division festivals. Watched a lot of The Bachelorette. (And seriously, why has no one ever greeted me for a date with a boy band serenade? Or picked me up on a unicorn? Or taken me on a date to Argentina?) Went to the farmers market and bought vegetables coughbutreallycookiescough. Went to a Travel Massive event and met Mount Rushmore's George Washington. Made kolaczki for a work pot luck....

In a week I leave for a long Fourth of July weekend in New York. If you know me at all or if you've followed my blog even remotely closely, you can probably guess the primary purpose for the trip: the Nathan's Famous hot dog eating contest. It will be my seventh time at the contest since 2008, including that one time I actually managed to eat on the big stage. This year I'll be in the press box, though there's a huge part of me that wishes I would be eating. I thought hard about trying to earn a...

In 1989, I fell in love. I was in third grade and he was both the coolest and the cutest boy I'd ever laid eyes on. Bleach blonde hair, striking hazel eyes. A class-clown meets bad boy in the most adorable way. He had a cell phone 12 years before I had my first. He could stop time. Literally. I'd see him every Saturday morning and would laugh along with his antics, cry along with his broken hearts, hope for him to get out of detentions, wish for his success, and, though I really, truly, loved him with all of my nine-year old heart,...

Last month I resubscribed to Netflix and then immediately proceeded to ugly cry through Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Is that what "Netflix and Chill" means??? I'm pretty sure that's what that means....

A few weekends ago, I went to a baby shower. One of the baby shower games, because you can't go to a baby shower and not be forced to play baby shower games, involved cutting a piece of yarn to the size you thought the mother-to-be's belly was. Jokingly, I wrapped the yarn around my stomach and cut it to my exact size. I won. All of my weight goes to my stomach. OK, that's not true that all of my weight goes to my stomach, my weight also goes to my thighs and my arms and my face and my ass...

Last time I checked in I told you that while my blogging has been down, my gym attendance has been up. I'm both happy and sad to report that that's still the case. I still have so many things I want to write about, so many half-written posts or unwritten ideas floating around the head. But I'm embracing this newfound dedication towards actually taking advantage of my gym membership. Honestly, I've also been kind of enjoying pretending like I don't have a blog (or three) to tend to. I love blogging, I love my blog, but it is a massive time suck....

Back in January, I made a promise to myself that I was going to write two blog posts a week, every week, all year, no matter what. I needed to get back into writing. I needed to sit down and just do it already. I needed to push myself to have some discipline. For a while I was doing amazing with that goal, posting twice, every week, no matter what it took. There were times I'd spend my entire weekend at my laptop. There were nights I'd be up until 3am perfecting a post. There were days I'd wake up early...

The sun had moved, just enough, to start flooding though my living room window again. It gave the whole room the same glow that made me fall in love with the apartment in the first place. My fig tree noticed too and started blooming to life again. Translucent lime sprouts, the first new growth I'd seen amongst the stale deep leaves that had held strong all winter, and something different, a little green bulb. My first fig was growing. I was growing a fig. Me, the girl with the blackest thumb you could imagine, was growing fruit. I knew it was too early in...