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Neurotic As Hell

Choosing Figs Blog

I've written before about my "buy once" philosophy: how I'd rather spend a little more money on something that is better quality or something that I really, really, love, with the idea that it will be a "forever piece." Or, at least, an "as long as humanly possible" piece and not something I am buying with the idea that I will eventually upgrade or eventually replace. Of course, that's not always possible. Sometimes you just need something now and can't wait until you can find or afford the perfect version. When my can opener broke, recently, and I could barely open...

Two years ago I bought a fig tree. It was at once a thoroughly calculated and yet impulsive buy. I'd wanted to get a fig tree, I'd thought about getting a fig tree, I'd researched where I could even get a fig tree in Chicago, if you could even grow a fig tree in Chicago. And then I ended up purchasing one at a farmer's market outside my train stop. I was on my way to work when I spotted it at a stand, handed over $20, and lugged it home. I was late to work that day.   [caption id="attachment_46514" align="aligncenter"...

"I don't have to do this!" I yelled at the box. And, it's true, I don't have to do this. I don't have to clean my apartment. I don't have to organize everything I own. I don't have to throw anything away. I don't have to throw everything away. I don't have to hang my dresses in an ascending line. I don't have to fold my underwear. I don't have to do this. I don't have to do any of this. I started "KonMari"-ing my life about two weeks ago. After reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up I went through my clothes...

I recently made two batches of Oreo Cookies and Cream Pudding Shots to bring to a pot luck at work. I mean, why would I bring anything else besides alcoholic pudding to a pot luck at work? It was, after all, a "Back to School" themed party and, really, who didn't have pudding in their lunch box at least a few times a year growing up? It was a totally on point contribution. ...

I spend my entire life cleaning. OK, maybe that's an overstatement. But, no, I spend my entire life cleaning. Or, at least, thinking that maybe I should clean. There's always laundry that somehow gathers in a pile next to the hamper. There's always a sink full of dishes that cascades onto the kitchen counter. There's always a trail of litter on the floor that I'll sweep up tomorrow. Maybe. There's always hair in the drain or a closet door that won't quite close or an empty can of Coke on the nightstand or a sheet corner that has come loose. There's...

There are two types of first-time mothers. There are those mothers who decorate the baby's nursery for the baby. Teddy-bear printed bedding. Chunky plastic toys in bright primary colors. Dancing elephant mobiles in gender-friendly pink or blue. Then there are those mothers who decorate the nursery for themselves. Mid-century modern cribs. Monochromatic color schemes in dusty lavender or yellow and gray. Carefully selected wall garlands, lace tents, and a curated bookshelf styled with a vintage metal piggy bank, a precious stuffed bunny with a flower crown, and, just maybe, a couple of actual books. If I were a mother, I'd be the...

If you know me you know there are two things I can talk about on end: travel and cats. Often, cats I met while traveling. (See the cats who begged for food in Istanbul, the hostel kittens in Leon, my adorable Lek in Chiang Mai...

I don't remember the first time I read Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. It was in my adult life, that I know, well past high school, years past college. Maybe even after grad school. I don't remember why I chose to read that particular novel. I don't remember the motivation behind purchasing the book. I don't remember whether I picked it up at a Borders on a whim or whether I ordered it intentionally online. I don't remember if I saw it mentioned in a TV show or if someone recommended it to me. I don't remember anything about the...

This was me the day Hamilton tickets went on sale in Chicago: Actually, that was my whole office. Actually, that was, quite possibly, all of the city. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be a fangirl: I had never even listened to the Hamilton soundtrack (still haven't...

I've never wanted children. In high school, twenty years ago, my assigned health class husband health class divorced me because he wanted egg babies and I didn't. Of course, I still had to raise egg babies as a single health class mother. So I'm not quite sure of the point there. And I'm also pretty sure he really just wanted to have egg babies with his actual girlfriend who was also in the class. Sigh. Story of my life. Anyways. I've never wanted children. And I've adamantly opposed, through the years, all of the women who chastise me with the argument that...