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Neurotic As Hell

Choosing Figs Blog

I still have trouble with balance. Even more so now that I'm home. I have work, my blog, the gym, an apartment to keep clean and to furnish. I have a million other things I want to be doing, a million other things I should be doing. Even in my most productive weeks I'll only check off a third of my to-do list only to add more for the next week. I keep telling myself that soon one thing will be finished and I'll have more free time. But then I make up some new project and am back at...

I live in Chicago. I think that's official. I've been here for seven months. I have a job. I have an apartment. I have furniture in said apartment. I think that means I really, truly, live here. It's something I'm totally fine with until those times I'm not. Until those times where I realize I could be on a beach instead. Or somewhere warmer or colder than Chicago depending on the day. Or with my friends at a conference in Spain. Or, literally, anywhere else in the world. But then I remember that even when I was traveling I spent half my...

I can't do everything. That's something hard for a control-freak like myself to admit, but it's true. I. can't. do. everything. Now, I'm the kind of girl who wants to do everything, who tries to do everything, who wants to do it all herself, even if it's beyond me. I can learn. I can do it. I can figure it out. I can. In some ways it's a good quality to have. I pick up so many more skills that way. "I'll figure it out," is one of my favorite things to say at work because I consider it a challenge if...

I've been home for six months. Six months in Chicago. I haven't even taken a vacation in that time. No flights, no weekend getaways, nothing. It's hard to believe, really. Sometimes it feels like I came home ages ago. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday. And, sometimes, it feels like I've never traveled at all. There are a lot of times where I wish I could just pick up again and move to Thailand or Colombia or travel around Africa or road trip the US. But, for now, I'm here. And I'm finally starting to feel "here." I have my apartment that's slowly...

If you've watched as many home decorating/real estate/DIY shows as I have you've surely come across an episode where a homeowner encounters a pink bathroom. And you can probably guess what's coming next. The homeowner opens the door, eyes widen, eyebrows raise, and the side of the lip stretches back. "No," accompanied by a throaty laugh is usually the first words out of his or her mouth. And then the realtor or contractor assures them it can be painted, it can be renovated, it can be masked. So you can also, probably, imagine my reaction when I was looking for an apartment,...

My March could be summed up in one concept: moving. I moved into my apartment. I moved in all my stuff. I bought more stuff and moved that in too. I unpacked all my boxes. I hung up some curtains. I hung up some art. I rearranged the few items of furniture I actually have. I bought a shelving unit for my kitchen and thought it was a great idea to carry it home on the el. It wasn't....

I've never been big on St. Patrick's Day. It's just never been my thing. Even in college, when most of my peers were waking up at the crack of dawn to ditch class and drink green beer at "unofficial," I was diligently sober in class. I really don't know how I've avoided it for so long. I mean, Chicago celebrates St. Patrick's Day pretty hard. So much so that people I've met who are actually from Ireland have told me that they hope to celebrate here some day. But I've never passed out or puked on a Wrigleyville bar crawl. I've never...

Speed dating is still a thing. Apparently. I mean, I know it was a big thing in 2003, maybe, before all this internet dating came about. But in an age of OK Cupid and Tinder, where you don’t even have to leave your couch to meet a man, where all you have to do to find someone interested in you is swipe one little index finger right, actually having forced conversations with a room full of strangers in a public place just seems like an anomaly....

For the past four months I've been neither here nor there. At the end of October, after over three years of living nomadically, I "finished" my travels, flew back to Chicago on a one-way ticket, and accepted a full-time job. But, in the four months since, I haven't really been "here." Not yet. I was living in a friend's spare bedroom. I was living off of a designated shelf in the cupboard, a designated shelf in the fridge, a borrowed bed, a borrowed pillow, a borrowed towel. All of my things were still in storage at my mom's. I couldn't join a...

February was a tough month. I spent most of the 28 days working, even on weekends where I worked anywhere from an extra hour or two to an extra twelve. And one of my best friends moved way. And didn't say goodbye. And hasn't talked to me since. And I've had to, more and more, come to the realization that maybe he was never a friend at all. Sigh. I'm just exhausted from it all. Anyways, here are a few of the things I got up to in February when I wasn't working or crying into my pillow...