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Neurotic As Hell

Choosing Figs Blog

I've been on this kick lately to do the things I always say I'm going to do. You know those things. Maybe you were watching an improv show once and thought to yourself, "this is so much fun, I wish I could be up there." Or maybe you passed by that swanky but impossible-to-get-into restaurant and thought, "I keep meaning to try to make reservations." Or, maybe, you were lusting over Pinterest boards on Brazil thinking, "someday I will take a vacation there." Those things. We're always making these mental lists. Lists of things we want to do in life. Lists of those things we...

There are people who vote for their own interests. For their own job. For their own worldview. For their own religion. There are others who vote for other people. For the people around them. For the people they pass every day. For the people who might need more than they do. There are people who vote for a candidate. There are people who vote against a candidate. None of those ways of voting are necessarily right or necessarily wrong. That's the beauty of a democracy. We can vote for who we want to vote for. We can vote on the issues that hit us...

Most of the things on our bucket lists are things we can, to at least some degree, control. If you want to learn Spanish you can take a class, you can download an app, you can check a book out at the library. If you want to see Machu Picchu you can book a flight. You can book a tour. You can plan that vacation. If you want to lose weight, if you want to buy a house, if you want to publish a book. You can actively work towards those goals. Many times, the only things holding us back are ourselves. But, there are...

My apartment in the fall is amazing. The light leaks into the windows all through the day casting a beautiful glow through all of my rooms. Unfortunately it starts seeping in around the time I've showered and am grabbing my keys to head out to work. And it ends by the time I arrive home. But the weekends are brilliant. At least. I had a pretty quiet month, I guess. I've been trying to save money so I have also been avoiding going out. I'm doing pretty OK with that. But then, of course, I slip, and say "fuck it, I...

He asked me if I wanted to go to play dodgeball. The answer was no. No, I did not want to play dodgeball. I haven't played dodgeball in at least 20 years and I'm confident that all I did then was cower in the corner. I mean, I'm pretty much the least athletic person I know. Plus, I bruise easily. But, I suppose, you can't complain that you never go on dates and then say no to a date. Right? Even if that date involves having a room full of people continuously throw large heavy objects at you. So, I said yes. And I...

I love traveling alone. By myself. Solo. I mean, I've traveled all around the world by myself. Traveling alone, I can be on my own schedule. I can do what I want to do. And only what I want to do. I can go where I want to go, eat where I want to eat, drink where I want to drink, see what I want to see. (Side note: feel free to read that last line to the tune of Addams Groove, because I totally just did.) I can be as ambitious or as lazy as I want. I have...

I went on a date last week. I'll wait while you pick up your jaw from the floor. Better? OK. Moving on. So, I went on a date last week. We met on Tinder and he asked me out right away. So we met for dinner and drinks at a bar down the block from me. And, in the course of conversation, I managed to say...

Looking back on September, I realized something: the whole month focused on work. Not in a bad way, really. But most of the events I went to were work events, most of the times I went out it was with coworkers, and even my vacation to New Orleans was really a work trip. I'm not quite sure that's the balance I've been looking for. But, I guess, for now, I'll take it...

I may be one of the most skeptical people you'll ever meet. For every extreme political meme you post on Facebook I immediately go to Snopes to fact check. I assume all news stories are grossly exaggerated. I assume all personal stories are grossly exaggerated. I read marketing text and say to myself, "50% fewer calories than what?" And, if you drag me to a motivational speaker, I will probably spend those three hours rolling my eyes and trying to hold back laughter. I just don't buy into a lot of crap. I'm jaded. I'm cynical. I'm skeptical as fuck. But psychics? Psychics....