Because unicorns hate you.
After waking up in a Holiday Inn and having no idea where the fuck I was I just caught a cab so I wouldn’t have to even try to figure it out.
When I got home, Ali opened the door and exclaimed “you’re alive!” Apparently, when Jaime wandered in at 3:30 in the morning all Andrew could get from him was that he “lost me.”
We spent most of the day in some sort of tomato fight hangover, exhausted from throwing and fending for our lives and waking up too damn early and going to bed too damn late.
So we did, basically, nothing. I told you we were the laziest travelers ever.
We did manage to drag ourselves out the the apartment to get kebabs. And ice cream. And tapas where we spent the whole night drawing on the tablecloth…
(I kept trying to get Jaime to distract dog owners so I could steal their cute puppies. This is the one I want. His name is Siesta.)