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amsterdam – reflections

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It’s easy to get lost here, but it’s just as easy to get found.

That was the first thing I wrote in my journal, sitting alone in a restaurant, on my first night in Amsterdam.

So, did it turn out to be more than just my observations of the city plan, did it turn out to be a metaphor for my trip, did it turn out to be a metaphor for my life?

More than anything in the world I needed this trip. I needed Amsterdam.

Quite honestly I was a completely different person here and I hope upon hope that I can take that person back with me.

I was thoroughly prepared to say here that this was the best experience and the worst experience of my life.

It was lonely, it was scary, it was nerve racking.

But I did it.

I did it.

Everyone kept telling me that I was brave for doing this by myself. And I’d say No. No I’m not brave.

But I want to be.

After that first night I didn’t think I would be able to cope for a whole week and now I never want to leave.

This last week the most important thing I have ever experienced. The greatest thing I have ever experienced. And I know now that I can do it. That everything will always be OK. Did I get lost here? Yes. But did I find my way.

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